


Drunken Misunderstanding

by Antopops



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Dalish, Drinking, F/M, Fighting, Rejection (implied), Romance, Wardens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:01:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3853303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antopops/pseuds/Antopops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaya overhears Cullen and Alistair talking about Amell and everything gets misinterpreted and goes downhill from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Timing

**Author's Note:**

> oneshot (for now) involving my Dalish elf Inquisitor Kaya who romanced Cullen. angst and bitter feelings follow an overheard conversation about the Hero of Ferelden Amell, and Cullen and Alistair's feelings towards her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oneshot (for now) involving my Dalish elf Inquisitor Kaya who romanced Cullen. angst and bitter feelings follow an overheard conversation about the Hero of Ferelden Amell, and Cullen and Alistair's feelings towards her.

Kaya’s size wasn’t something that made getting drunk difficult. Her tolerance for ale had always been nonexistent. The first time she’d thought to drink herself into a stupor, Bull had roared with laughter at the sloppy drunk she’d become. He’d described it as a “hurricane drunk”, encompassing all the types of drunks into one mass that was Kaya.

After that night Bull had given her a strong Qunari concoction, claiming it would fix her right up should she need to ease any tension. The smell was enough to knock her off her feet, so she’d shoved it on a shelf in her quarters. She hadn’t thought to even look at the bottle again let alone drink it.

Today however called for it.

She’d returned from Crestwood two days ago with Hawke’s Warden contact Alistair. Kaya knew who he was; King Maric’s son. Or _bastard_ son, as Cullen had put it. He’d saved Ferelden from the Blight with the Hero of Ferelden and, as far as she knew, stayed with the Wardens along with the Hero.

Her name was Anastasia Amell, a mage from the Ferelden circle. Once they’d returned to Skyhold, Alistair had shown Kaya the small portrait of her he kept in a locket she’d given him. She had deep brown hair that cascaded down her back in soft waves, blanketing her circular face. Her eyes were green, and the smile that played on her lips gave an indication to Kaya that the woman truly was happy. Alistair seemed less tense, more at ease when he spoke of her. It made Kaya happy to see the him like this. While she didn’t know Alistair as well as she hoped to, she knew the burden of having the world in her hands and the toll it could take. To see him so happy now, years after the Blight, gave her hope that maybe she could have that kind of happiness when she defeated Corypheus.

 _If_ she defeated Corypheus.

Then she’d gone to speak to Cullen early yesterday morning. The man was the most morning person Kaya had ever met, waking up before the sun had risen to begin reports and polish his armor. Once she’d even walked in late at night to see him asleep at his desk, face pressed into his breast plate which lay half cleaned.

She’d stopped when she heard another voice inside the Commander’s office. The small crack in the door allowed her to peer through, seeing Alistair leaning against the edge of Cullen’s desk as Cullen pulled books off the shelf at random.

“She’s been well, still taking on more than she can handle alone.” Alistair said.

“I suppose it’s good that she has you then. Things could have turned out very differently for you both. For everyone, really.” Cullen turned, staring at the Warden with curious eyes. His gaze fell as he walked behind his desk, slumping in his seat. “Do… do you truly love her?”

Kaya’s brow furrowed. She shouldn’t be here, she shouldn’t be eavesdropping like this. It made her feel dirty, like she was breaking some unspoken promise between her and Cullen. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no recruits were taking their patrols in this general direction, she moved closer to the door.

“I do,” Alistair replied. “Things _could_ have been very different, if they had been I don’t think I would be how I am now. She makes things brighter, better in every way.”

 _They must be speaking of Amell_ , thought Kaya.

Cullen turned over the quill he’d picked up and looked thoughtfully at it. Alistair shifted to face Cullen, gripping the hilt of his sword as he did so. “Do you think… if things had been different, do you think you would have gone after her?” _What?_ “If Kirkwall never happened, if you had the opportunity to go back. Would you?”

Her breathing stilled as she waited for the answer. Cullen had loved Amell? That much Kaya could stomach. Now Alistair was with her, asking if Cullen would go back to pursue her? It was almost too much to handle. Almost.

“I think… a part of me thinks yes. I would.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding, resting her forehead on the wood of the doorframe. He would leave her, go back to the woman he’d loved first if given the chance. A pang of anger shot through her at having been played. She was a replacement for the human mage Cullen could never have. And what was she? A Dalish elf who couldn’t hold a sword if she wanted to and had been at the wrong place at the wrong time when the Conclave happened. She cursed the Keeper for having been eager enough to get rid of her and condemning her to this.

But… she didn’t truly hate the Inquisition. True, when first faced with sealing the Breach she had been angry, lashing out at Cassandra, questioning if she even had a choice. Then Haven happened; she’d nearly died, barely made it out alive. It gave her a sense of purpose in that moment, the goal clear as day.

Not wishing to hear anymore, she’d turned from Cullen’s office and began heading back to her quarters.

“It’s a small part of me though. The part of me that ties me to my life as a Templar.” explained Cullen. “I don’t believe I can ever truly be rid of my past, and I wouldn’t want to give up my future. My life with Kaya so far… I wouldn’t trade that for the world.” A blissful expression settled over the Commander’s features.

Alistair chuckled softly. “She is quite the woman. I have to say, when I first saw her I had no idea she was the Inquisitor. More so, no idea you would be this infatuated with her.”

Willing or not a blush spread across Cullen’s cheeks, and he turned his head quickly, clearing his throat. “Yes well… love is a strange thing.”

All the while Kaya had returned to her room, fuming despite her best efforts at remaining calm. Almost without thought she’d beelined for the bottle of Qunari liquor on her shelf and yanked the cork out. She took a swig and gagged after the foul liquid made it down her throat. It burned, but she _liked_ it. The drink coated her stomach as she drank; sips turning into swigs, swigs turning into gulps. Eventually, half the bottle was gone, as was Kaya’s consciousness.

She zoned in and out, staring at certain parts of her chambers for long periods of time before taking another swig. She was so out of it she didn’t hear the door open and close from the balcony.

“Sweet Andraste, it smells like a brewery in here.” Dorian commented to the empty room. He looked around, failing to spot the Inquisitor until he saw her foot sticking out on the balcony. “Ah, there you are.”

Kaya kept staring ahead, not caring if the mage approached. She didn’t have enough sense to do much of anything anyways.

“Oh for the love of all things holy, what are you doing?” he questioned. “It’s freezing out here for one and you’re out here without- are you _drunk_?”

Kaya lifted the bottle and gave him a lopsided grin. “Not drunk enough if I can still understand what yer saying.” She brought the bottle to her lips but felt it leave her hands in one quick motion. Dorian strode inside and set it down on the table in the corner of the room, then returned to a now mopey and agitated Inquisitor.

“Come now, up we go,” he grunted as he looped his hands under Kaya’s armpits to help her stand. She complied as best she could before outright collapsing back to the ground with a thud. “I’m not your knight in shining armor who can throw you over my shoulder you know, that’s Cullen’s job.” teased the Mage. He bent down once more and looped Kaya’s arm around his neck, supporting her weight as he helped her inside.

“Don’t wanna knight in shining _anything_ , keep that righteous fluffball away from me.” Incoherent as she was, she spoke with a bitter edge to her voice.

“My my, that touched a nerve. What’s new between you and the mighty Commander of the Inquisition?”

“Di’ja know that he liked a mage? An actual _mage_ like you and everything. ‘Cept not Tevinter but same old.”

Dorian only raised an eyebrow as he settled in at the foot of her bed.

“Alistair ‘s with her now, all glowy and happy about it too. I thought it was cute at first, like ‘Hey somethin’ to aspire to!’ y’know?” she hiccuped and rubbed her eyes wearily. Her lower lip quivered and Dorian braced himself for what came next. Tears slipped through her closed eyes and she shook her head lightly. “He said he’d go back to her. If he could he’d go back ‘n make it so he could be with her. Never be here.”

“Oh dear…”

Kaya gathered a fistful of her blanket and squeezed it tight in an attempt to calm herself down. “Thought ‘bout getting Alexius to help,” she laughed hoarsely as she spoke. “He can change up time, send him back if he really wants to.”

“You don’t mean that,” insisted Dorian. “I’m sure there’s more to what you heard.”

Her head hung limply and she curled on to her side, the sheets constricting around her waist. “He can go… ‘m just a mistake to everyone. Keeper didn’t want me, parents didn’t-” she as cut off with a sharp inhale and buried her head in her pillow. Dorian’s curiosity piqued at what she’d started saying but kept his mouth closed. He scooted further up the bed and gently brushed the hair out of her eyes. He continued stroking the short disheveled mess of blonde hair until her breathing was even and she was asleep.

He was nervous to leave her alone after she’d drunk so much, so he grabbed one of the basins from the foot of the bed and set it by the side. With any luck she’d at least empty her stomach into that and not on to her bed. He then took the seat at her desk and picked up a stray book, flipping through the pages. Hours it seemed had passed, and eventually he drifted off, joining Kaya in the blissful world of sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my quizzie but this idea has been nagging me for ages and I loved it. plus I always liked the idea that Alistair and Cullen knew each other (briefly) from Alistair's short time as a templar.
> 
> might add more to this, who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	2. Rash Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya wakes up feeling shitty for more reasons than one and the Commander wallows in self hatred. kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since everyone seemed to like the first part and i surprisingly got requests to add more? so here you go.

Dorian woke to a loud rapping on the door. He’d fallen asleep in a rather unbearable position, and sat up with a groan of pain. Shuffling down the steps to the door he cracked it open to see Commander Cullen and Cassandra standing on the other side. Cullen’s eyebrows shot up at seeing Dorian of all people inside the Inquisitors’ quarters.

The blonde stumbled for the words to say in this particular situation, so Cassandra said, “Is the Herald here?”

“She is, and she is positively unable to do much of anything at the moment. Come back later.” he scoffed as he spoke, attempting to close the door only to be stopped by Cullen’s gloved hand.

His eyes were narrowed, a dangerous expression playing on his face. “What is the meaning of this, mage?”

“Informalities won’t be necessary Commander. I assure you our dear lady Inquisitor did nothing too rambunctious last night. Other than drink herself into a stupor.” _No thanks to you_ , he added in his head.

Apparently the reassurance had been less of a reassurance and more of a reason for Cullen to push past Dorian and climb the steps hurriedly. Kaya was still asleep when his eyes found her, her short blonde hair an absolute rats nest and her cheeks flushed from drinking. The blankets had been kicked down to her thighs, revealing her slender frame. She wore a large armor shirt, typically seen under a persons armor to avoid rashes and other nasty scuffs with protective gear.

She looked positively angelic to Cullen like this, but Dorian’s voice dragged his eyes away from the dainty elf.

“I’d explain more to you but I’d say it’s not my place.”

Cullen’s hand found his neck and he rubbed it awkwardly, a nervous habit he’d had for years. Cassandra moved to the side of the bed to wake Kaya, a light nudge doing nothing to stir the sleeping Inquisitor. “I’ve never seen something like this.”

“What? A sleeping elf? I assure you its a common sight in many places.”

She shot him a cold glare before gesturing to their Herald. “I’ve never seen anyone as taken by ale as this.”

“She’s not exactly large enough to hold her own liquor,” added Cullen.

Dorian plucked the glass bottle off the desk and handed it to Cassandra. “Maybe talk with Bull about mindlessly offering ‘ale’ to people. I don’t think we want the Inquisitor facing Corypheus completely zonked any time soon.”

A disgusted noise blurted from her mouth as she clutched the bottle and strode out of the room. Cullen was left standing at the foot of Kaya’s bed with Dorian silently observing the Commander.

“Sometimes people need breaks, to relax a little bit.” Dorian offered with a shrug. Cullen’s lip turned down into a grimace.

“She shouldn’t be so careless. The fate of the world rests in her hands alone.” his brow furrowed. “Or… hand, so to speak.”

A sharp bark of laughter escaped Dorian’s smirking lips. “Is that what you’re concerned about? The fate of the Inquisition over her well being?”

Anger blossomed in Cullen’s chest. Who did this mage think he was, acting as though he knew Kaya better than him? This was his lover they were speaking of, with her in _front of them_ no less. Asleep or not, the situation made his stomach churn.

“Watch yourself, mage. You know nothing.”

“Oh I know plenty,” he practically seethed. “Enough to know you should close your door when speaking of past lovers and your desire to return to them.”

Confusion, then eventually understanding dawned on the Commander’s face. His eyes flicked back to Kaya who still slept quieter than the dead in her bed. Her ear twitched in her sleep, giving notice to the fact she may wake up soon.

“I didn’t-”

“Didn’t what? How can you possibly talk yourself out of this one Commander?” Dorian was irked with the man in front of him but still laced his words with empathy. The man looked broken, distraught at the realization of his mistake. “Not that you asked for it but my advice tends to be valued quite a bit; come back later when she’s awake. Explain… whatever this is,” he gestured between the two, “and fix it. You’re something good for her. Regardless of what happened, she needs-” He thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “She needs someone.”

Cullen thought about arguing further, but relented and nodded. He turned on his heel and left Kaya’s chambers, a depressing aura surrounding him now.

 

* * * * *

 

When Kaya had finally awoken, she gave no recollection of Dorian’s interference the night before. All that remained to indicate the events from the night prior was the splitting headache that prodded at her skull. The better part of her was flustered when she saw the Mage in the corner of her room, watching her sleep in nothing but an armor shirt.

“The thought is appreciated, Dorian, but I might as well be naked. You can understand my discomfort.”

Dorian hooted with laughter for a good minute before wiping away a non existent tear from his eye. “And here I thought you Dalish didn’t care about nudity.”

“We don’t!” she argued. “It’s different, you’re-”

“A Tevinter mage with enough wit and charm to supply all of Thedas?”

“You’re not Dalish. Our customs don’t apply to humans, I would imagine if anything my being in the nude would bother you.”

The mage smirked and crossed his arms, a twinkle in his eye. “Seeing you in the nude would hardly bother anyone, I’d imagine.”

Kaya hurled her pillow at Dorian, though he ducked easily and laughed. She chuckled despite herself, knowing Dorian and herself shared a mutual liking for each other. Harmless flirtation was common between the two.

“You’re a pig.” she muttered as she got up. Luckily the armor shirt she’d had on was rather baggy and fell to her knees. But… she wouldn’t have worn something this large under her armor would she?

“You managed to spill your liquor all over your armor last night so I took the liberty of providing you with more comfortable clothing.” Dorian spoke up, seemingly having read her mind.

“Bastard! You’ve already seen me naked then!” She had half the mind to throw the man over her balcony. He gave her a jovial smile before heading to the door.

“Enjoy the rest of your morning, lady Herald.”

When the door closed behind him it became eerily quiet. The wind whistled through her open balcony doors, warranting a shiver from her. Not even the sound of Inquisition soldiers training could be heard. She’d never liked silence; it meant her thoughts could fill the blank space in her mind. After yesterday, she hardly wanted to think. Her headache was helping some.

Thankfully Kaya had had Harriet make a backup set of her armor after Haven, and she pulled that on quickly. She snatched her bow off the floor and strapped it to her back. Now wasn’t the time to think of Cullen or Amell, and she wasn’t going to let her emotions distract her from what was important. Corypheus and all the rifts threatening villages weren’t going to wait around for her to pull her life together. It was already in shambles either way.

In the next hour she’d grabbed a pastry off the table in the Main Hall and gathered Varric, Bull, and Dorian to follow her to the Storm Coast. Multiple reports of rifts and Venatori activity had come in over the past week and Kaya wasn’t about to let them go unchecked.

On their way out of Skyhold’s gates, she snuck a glance at the tower Cullen was situated in. Her heart sank again, a feeling of melancholy making its home in her stomach.

“Everything alright, Boss?” Bull questioned. She realized she’d stopped short in a noticeable fashion.

“Yes, fine. Sorry.” One last look to the tower. “Let’s go.”

 

* * * * *

 

Cullen watched her leave. He’d wanted to run after her, pull her back through those gates and kiss her, tell her how much he loved her. Instead, he’d watched her look up at his office tower and pain etched itself across her features. Every time she left Skyhold she was putting herself in danger. Each trip could be Kaya’s last; she knew it, as did he. This time was no different, but the thought of her leaving now with such terrible terms between them…

With a grunt he swept his arm across his desk, unfinished reports and caps of ink clattering to the ground. A knock then the voice of a recruit on the other side of the door only grated his nerves further. “Commander, is everything alright?”

“Yes!” his tone sharper than intended. He softened it, “Everything is fine, thank you.”

More mumbling came from the other side, he was certain he could hear someone say ‘relationship problems’. Part of him wanted to be mad at Kaya for having listened in on the conversation with Alistair in the first place. But he was mad at himself for having listened to the damn mage Dorian and not talked it out with Kaya right away. Instead, she’d left Skyhold at the quickest opportunity. _Most likely to get away from me…_ he thought to himself. He couldn’t really blame her.

Cullen sighed and slumped in his seat. His day so far really was awful. He looked at the mountain of reports he had yet to even start. Absent mindedly he thought back to the bottle Cassandra had confiscated from Kaya’s room hours earlier.

With that in mind, he strode out of his office in search of Bull. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some ideas rolling through my noggin for the third part so YEAH there's probably gonna be some more.  
> good things come to those who wait (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)


	3. Risky Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's stubborn and determined and Kaya is in deep shit with her companions at the Storm Coast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a masochist when it comes to my characters sue me

Cullen’s luck had sorely run out. Shortly after discovering Bull had left Skyhold with the Inquisitor, one of Leliana’s agents appeared to tell him he was needed in the War Room. Normally the advisors held off meetings until the Inquisitor was available to attend them as well. So naturally, he got there as fast as he could.

“Commander,” Josephine said in greeting. “It is good you’re here. We can get underway then.”

“What is so important you called this just after the Inquisitor left?” Leliana shuffled through papers, then set them down with an exasperated sigh.

“It was not intentional, believe me. I just received word that one of our encampments off the Storm Coast was wiped out.”

The room fell silent. All the advisors, including Cassandra who had joined the meeting, looked at each other warily.

“Venatori?” Cullen finally croaked out.

“We don’t know.”

“What do you mean we don’t know?! You received the report did you not?” His hand clenched around the hilt of his sword. Josephine looked down at her clipboard, the sudden buildup of tension setting everyone’s teeth on edge.

Leliana glared at Cullen coolly, her eyes like ice. She pulled a wrinkled slip of parchment out of her pocket and dropped it on the table. It was covered in red smudges and dirt, a nearly illegible message scrawled in the center.

_Reinforcements needed, cannot defend against this massive threat_

There was more but it could not be made out. Cullen ran his hand through his hair, his mind racing. What in Andraste’s name had happened?

“We have sent word with a few Scouts to intercept the Inquisitor, hopefully before she reached the Storm Coast. Whatever could have wiped out an entire encampment of fully armed soldiers…” she trailed off, averting her gaze to the wall over Cullen’s shoulder.

His stomach dropped. He’d nearly forgotten the Storm Coast was where Kaya had been headed. They had no information to give; no idea who was behind the attack, if _whatever_ caused this was still in the area or not. She was going in completely blind unless they could reach her in time.

“I’ll ride out with fifty soldiers as soon as possible.” he declared. “If there’s a chance the cause of the destruction is still near the encampment, it will need to be dealt with.”

“Cullen, I realize you’re worried for the Inquis-”

“You’ve no idea.” he gritted through clenched teeth, refusing to meet Cassandra’s stare.

“ … You must think of what is best for the Inquisition. Putting yourself in danger for this is noble, but it is _reckless_.” the Seeker pressed, urgency lighting her words. “Kaya would not want you to-”

He cut her off with the simple gesture, his eyes never meeting hers as he rushed past the women. The War Room doors slammed behind him and Cassandra shut her eyes in defeat.

“He’s going to get himself killed.” stated Leliana.

“I doubt reasoning with him any further will do much good.” the Ambassador set her clipboard down gingerly.

“That man is more stubborn than any loyal Mabari…” Leliana sighed and moved to exit the War Room. “Very well. Cassandra, I hope you won’t let the Inquisition Commander throw himself into any fire pits while he is away.”

Cassandra stood still a moment before fully processing what Leliana had said. She nodded, and Leliana gave her a small smile before leaving.

 

* * * * *

 

Kaya couldn’t feel her fingers. As an archer, this was a normal feeling to get after firing one too many arrows. But this sense of numb had set in once the storm rolled in.

Icy rain was coming down in sheets, the wind piercing her through her armor. The extra layer she’d brought with her was buried deep in her bag and they had no time to stop now.

It had taken them no time to reach the coast from Skyhold; good traveling conditions had made their journey quick. But once they’d past the Southern mountains encircling the area, the worst storm Kaya had ever encountered rolled in quicker than lightning. The smell of rain on the dirt reminded her of days spent stalking animals in the woods around her clan, the wet dirt seeping through her bare toes. She’d always hated shoes, and her heels scuffed against a rock at the memory.

It was in the past now, no use digging up pointless history.

“Shouldn’t we have reached the camp by now?” she heard Dorian yell over the sound of harsh rain. “It’s not like it got up and walked away.” Varric snickered somewhere behind her. She wanted to smile at the attempt to lighten the mood in their shitty situation but her mouth was practically frozen into place.

Kaya stopped for a moment, taking in their surroundings. They’d chosen to follow the coast, knowing that the nearest camp marked on their map was near the water. It felt as though they’d been walking for hours and still nothing had shown itself.

A violent sweep of rain crashed down, followed by Varric asking, “Think we should find shelter or do you want to take your chances with the storm?” His voice was small, as if far away. She turned and saw the dwarf not five feet from her. He was holding it together the best he could but he was shivering as well as Dorian, who was a mess. His hair was stuck to his forehead and through his tan complexion, she saw his nose and cheeks flushed red. Bull was… well, Bull was Bull. He was used to the Storm Coast climate after the time he’d spent here and he was bouncing on the balls of his feet as if ready to attack the first thing that moved.

She looked back to Varric and nodded, eyes sweeping the horizon to spot any place not out in open rain like this. A shiver wracked her body but she covered it up by stepping over a fallen log hastily. She could hardly feel her fingers through the tips of her gloves and her ears were void of all feeling as well. Their tips were pointed down into the crook of her armor’s bunchy collar which she gratefully tugged over her mouth.

They trekked on, sparing quick looks around for any source of shelter as they moved. After a while when it seemed nothing would go their way, Dorian called out over the rush of the storm, “There!”

He was pointing over a muddy hill, but just over its peak Kaya could make out the top of a tent. Her companions trotted past her and dug their heels into the mud as they climbed the hill. Varric stopped short, his mouth forming “oh shit” as the others gathered around him. Bull extended his hand to Kaya who took it graciously, and hauled herself up. Almost mimicking Varric, Kaya stopped short and gasped at the sight before them.

The rain had all but washed the smell away but the sight of corpses littering the ground filled their view. Blood was gathered in deep puddles throughout the encampment and swords stuck up out of the ground. Inquisition flags torn and flapping wildly in the wind. There were charred bodies, bodies with half of them _missing_ , strewn across the space. She wanted to retch.

“Well fuck.” said Bull. His agitation shone through the pissed off aura he was emitting, and he glanced down at the elf next to him. “Plan B?”

She only shook her head. “I don’t understand. The Venatori reports said they were

located on the opposite side of the island.” She was shouting in an attempt to get her companions to hear her, but their mindless stares ahead told her they weren’t listening or couldn’t hear.

“Venatori don’t burn people alive, Kaya.” Dorian cupped one hand around his fingers as he snapped, small flames igniting then extinguishing in the rain. “Not like this.”

She was prepared to ask what he thought had succeeded in wiping out an entire Inquisition battalion, when a roar from above sent her reeling back. Overhead a massive shadow blocked the rain for a split second before disappearing behind the mountains, the sound of wings beating indicating the creatures return.

“That explains the burnt bodies,” pointed out Varric. Bull laughed despite himself and ripped his battleaxe off his back.

“I’m going to enjoy this!” Without a second thought, Bull charged, leaving Kaya and her remaining companions dazed.

Through the tearing rain, a High Dragon crashed to the ground. It’s brilliant, scaley, blue hide seemed to ripple in the pouring rain. The beast’s cry tore through the cloud ridden sky as it raised a fist and brought it down on Bull. The Qunari warrior leapt to the side and embedded his axe into the creature’s arm, to no avail. The dragon seemingly flicked its body to the side in an attempt to shake the attack off.

It was at this point the Inquisitor took action, packing a powerful first hit square in the Dragon’s neck. The arrow stuck but had no effect. The animal tossed its head back with an enraged cry, showering a stream of fire towards Kaya. The Elf was quick to react, jumping to the side and rolling across the muddy pavement, jumping back to her feet. Varric shot a series of three bolts straight into the beast’s head. But no matter how many arrows they let fly, no matter how many spells Dorian cast, the Dragon was enormous.

Somewhere in the midst of the fight Bull had clambered on to its back and was reeling violently against the creature’s neck. Dorian shouted something that Kaya couldn’t make out, his spells coming faster now. In one fluid motion the Dragon sent Dorian flying backwards with its tail. The mage hit the ground with a thud but was staggering to his feet when Kaya turned to look.

With great effort, she mounted all that she could into a full draw shot, aiming her arrow straight for the beast’s head. It was thrashing, breathing fire in every which direction as it clawed at the ground. She released the arrow and it whizzed through the air, striking its target. Finally after so many attacks, the Dragon relented for an instant, its motions wavering as it regained focus after her attack.

While she’d done some damage, the creature’s attention was now turned solely on her. Dorian had begun firing out spells and waving his arms over his head in an attempt to draw the animal’s attention.

No use.

Seeing no other way out, she snagged one of her Stealth bulbs from her belt and hurled it at the ground just as fire made its way out of the Dragon’s mouth. She felt the familiar light sensation of brief invisibility for a moment before it was replaced with a scalding, _burning_ sensation. The feeling of skin being ripped open registered as the Dragon nicked her side with its claw. Instinctively she began to curl in on herself as she screamed, only to force herself to the side out of the way of fire.

Everything was hurting. _Stinging_. As she lay there in the mud she could see the hazy figures of Bull and Varric making their way to her at an _agonizingly_ slow rate. The Dragon, now free of Bull’s grip on its back, began to beat its wings in an attempt to take off. It lashed out once more, it’s claws dragging through the side of the mountain, large pieces plummeting dangerously close to the group.

Almost pathetically, the Dragon was injured. They’d thrown everything they could at it and even so the damned thing had gotten away. Kaya lay still near the water’s edge, the feeling of the rain coming down on her welcoming yet unwanted as it soothed and stung her wounds. Cold hands found her face and she cracked her eyes open to see Dorian peering down at her, face etched with worry. He was saying something… she couldn’t hear.

Her eyelids began to flutter shut but she was nudged back to consciousness by Bull as he scooped her up in his arms. He was beaten pretty bad, limping slightly as he carried Kaya to a somewhat secluded area between a large tree and the mountain side.

“Maker, there’s just one?” Dorrian grumbled something to someone and the distinct sound of bottles clinking together gave Kaya something to focus on.

_Don’t sleep… stay awake you’ve got to stay awake…_ her eyes disobeyed, closing only to be forced open painfully by her will alone. She felt someone nudge her head up slightly and a bottle be pushed to her mouth, bitter liquid passing her lips. She coughed once and wheezed, the polluce taking effect instantly.

“ … help on the way… have to avoid the open areas... “

She groaned loudly and Varric knelt at her side. His hands hovered above her unsure of how to help. “Is she going to last long? This doesn’t look good.” As much as Kaya wanted to sit up and look she couldn’t bring herself to. Whether out of fear of what she’d find or the fact she simply couldn’t crane her neck even a little bit before pain wracked her body.

Everything was hazy and Varric’s face seemed to go in and out of focus above her. Her eyes started to shut again, though this time she couldn’t find the energy to keep them open. The last thing Kaya registered was the feel of rain on her skin and the faint sound of horse hooves pounding in the wet ground.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will probably end with one last chapter! not sure if there's much to put after it plus I feel bad making my elf child suffer


	4. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconciliation is a wonderful thing (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a piece of shit i have no excuse for taking this long. i would have toughed it out through whatever block i was having but i didn't want to end this on a crappy note so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

She was rocking; that’s the first realization she came to. It was a rough kind of sway, accompanied by the slight jerks from the road. She was situated comfortably against something rather solid and warm. Albeit the wound in her side had her adjusting herself as best she could without screaming. A hand came to her shoulder, holding her still.

“Don’t move too much Inquisitor,” said a deep voice. “We’re almost home.”

Home? Where was home? She thought to her clan and couldn’t even hold on to the thought.

The voice spoke again, soft and wracked with emotion. “I’m so sorry Kaya…”

_Cullen?_

Her mind officially closed itself off, and she drifted back into a blissful, painless sleep.

 

* * * * *

 

The next time she came to she was resting with her back against a mountain of pillows. There was a healer in the corner of the room, speaking with Leliana. Dorian was on the other side of the room, attempting to speak to Cullen who was pacing nervously in front of the bookshelf. She closed her eyes again, wishing she was still lying on the shore of the Storm Coast bleeding to death.

On that note, a dull stinging had begun to make itself known across her torso and hip area. She glanced down to see a thick layer of bandages covering the gash in her side, but vicious red burn marks stuck out every which way. A short sigh escaped her lips, and everyone in the room turned to look at her.

“Inquisitor!” the healer exclaimed. Kaya recognized the girl; she’d assisted the doctors in the tents by the front gate once the mages had arrived in Skyhold. “Are you feeling alright? Any pain?” she asked as she hurried to Kaya’s side. The Herald nodded and gestured to her side.

“Here. It stings.”

“I’m going to take your bandages off, if that’s alright?” When Kaya nodded the healer began the process of carefully unwrapping the cloth that painfully stuck to her side.

Meanwhile, Cullen approached almost cautiously, only to be shown up by Dorian who strode forward with a contagious swagger.

“Let me tell you, I was worried for a while. You are quite the drama queen when you want to be.”

She gave him a lopsided smile, stifling a groan as she forced herself up more. Beside her, the healer reached out to help but Kaya shooshed her away. “I strive to be a martyr, what can I say?”

“It wasn’t being a martyr this time, it was plain reckless.” He held a playful tone in his voice but was looking at her with a hard stare. “Seriously though, you should be more careful. I don’t know how many people are lucky enough to live through being burned  _and_ cut up by a dragon.”

Lifting her hand, she wiggled her fingers to draw his attention to her mark. “Not exactly lucky, Dorian.”

He shrugged. “If you say so.” He gave Cullen a pat on the shoulder before heading to the door. “Praise Andraste our witty Inquisitor still lives; I’ll spread the news.”

When he left, his presence was replaced by Leliana who held a small clipboard and a roll of bandages. She handed the wraps to the healer who underwent the tedious task of covering Kaya’s wounds again. Kaya stared at the injury with a distasteful expression; the burns were stiff and she couldn’t move much without feeling like she’d tear her own skin. The cut was deep and raw, the dirt had been washed out however, leaving it exposed and painful.

Everything was painful at this point.

Leliana went on to talk about how Kaya would have the remainder of the day off. “You can take things at your own pace for now. The Venatori activity on the Storm Coast all but disappeared once you returned to Skyhold. I’ll have a few of my agents look into it.” She must have looked up and seen Kaya’s deadpanned staring out the window instead of listening. Leliana excused herself with a stiff smile, and the healer followed her out once the bandages had been applied.

“Please don’t hesitate to call me in if you need anything, Lady Herald.” The healer bowed briefly before shuffling off after Leliana. People were bowing to her now?

Kaya sighed roughly and tipped her head back against the headboard. She tried to rationalize her thoughts but everything was all jumbled up. She was careless this time, that much was certain. It was unexpected, yes, but she was reckless. Her mind was spinning and all she could clearly interpret from her thoughts was she did not want to be back at Skyhold so soon.

From the other side of the room, Cullen cleared his throat. She jumped at the noise, having completely forgotten he was there. _Shit, not now…_

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again, and rubbed the back of his neck as he grimaced. She took pleasure in his uncertainty.

He finally settled on glancing at her warily and asking, “Are you okay?”

“You mean is the mark okay?” He said nothing, only continued staring. “I was nearly flayed after narrowly being burned alive, so I’m as great as I can be.” She didn’t bother holding back her irritable tone with him, and she watched as her words stung him.

“You shouldn’t joke about this, it’s serious.”

“Yes of course. The only means of keeping everyone from dying nearly died herself. I get it.”

“It’s more than that and you know it, Kaya.”

“Is it?” When he didn’t respond she looked away, wishing she could just get up and walk away. She didn’t want to deal with this now. He clearly knew she was mad with him and _why_ she was displeased, yet he still showed up.

“Your safety…” he started. “Your wellbeing, your health, all of it is important. Your _happiness_ is important and you’re not happy.”

She laughed harshly, and Cullen’s expression turned stormy. “What does happiness have to do with the Inquisition? No one ever said dropping everything to seal the hole in the sky was pleasant-”

“Maker, forget the Inquisition! Your happiness is important to _me_ Kaya, more than anything in the world.” His fists were clenched at his side and he stared at Kaya with such a loving ferocity it made her stomach coil with an unnamed emotion. She only stared at him, mouth agape, at a loss for words.

“I…” she trailed off. Feeling her face heat up, she looked down at her hands in her lap and struggled to find the words.

Cullen strode across the room and planted himself next to her bed, only inches from her. The close proximity after what he’d said made her tense up for a moment, uncertainty wracking every inch of her body. “Kaya, look at me.”

She frowned, but did as he asked.

“I know what you heard, but did you hear all of it?”

“You’re asking me if I heard you confess _all_ of the feelings you have for Amell?” she asked incredulously.

“Had. Past tense.” he corrected. “My past as a templar is a difficult one to recollect. So many things went wrong, not all of it was as I had hoped for it to be. After Cassandra asked me to join the Inquisition, I left my life as a templar behind.”

“Cullen, I know that-”

“I won’t lie to you. I did love Amell. When I was stationed in Ferelden’s Circle she was someone I would have been content to be with, illegal or not.” He knew Kaya was becoming angry, so he rushed to finish. “But I’m not a templar anymore. I left that life behind, and that included leaving behind whatever feelings I had for Anastasia. It was so long ago… I was naive, willing to believe I could have something I really couldn’t.”

Kaya huffed and turned her head, her emotions confusing her. On one hand, she was angry. She didn’t want to hear Cullen’s pooling love story for the woman Alistair was with now. But on the other hand, she understood what he was telling her. It was all in the past, his templar connections, the Ferelden Circle, all of it. She felt Cullen’s gloved hand gently grip her chin and turn her head back to meet his eyes.

“What makes this life better is I have a choice. I can choose what I want, and better yet I can have what I couldn’t before.” The longing look in his eyes made Kaya’s head spin.

“And what is that? What you can have now?”

“Love.” he replied. It was so simple when he said it yet there was so much meaning behind it.

Kaya sniffled, tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes. Cullen froze, worried he’d said too much. But when he looked, he saw Kaya was smiling softly.

“I don’t understand.” she said, shaking her head, wiping away the tears slowly.

“I love _you_ , Kaya. Amell is a thing of the past, a tie to the old life I left behind. I-” he cut himself short and looked at Kaya, _truly_ looked at her. Her nose was flushed red from crying, but aside from that she was pale as always with freckles cascading across her nose and dotting around her eyes. She turned to look at him through the blonde hair that had fallen in her face with her big, green eyes. She was beautiful. More than that though, she was vulnerable and scared and Cullen loved her more than anything. Nothing mattered if Kaya wasn’t there. She’d made his life better and brighter in every way. He wasn’t about to squander a single moment with her.

“I want you to be my future.” he finally finished. Kaya’s eyes widened with surprise before smiling. She laughed softly and looked down, a blush spreading across her face and up her ears. Cullen could tell she was trying to hide it but her ears gave it away.

“Alright, I’ve been swayed.” she said, looking back at him.

“Does this mean I’m out of the dog house?”

She laughed loudly, ignoring the pain it caused her to do so. “Yes, I suppose it does.”

“Good. That means I can tell you how reckless you were and make you promise never do anything so stupid again.” He gave her a lopsided frown in an attempt to hide his own grin, to no avail.

“It’s not like I asked for a dragon to spoil the mood of pouring rain. But I promise.”

He reached for her hand and pulled her towards him swiftly, capturing her lips in a kiss that melted her to her core. Well, what wasn’t already melted after being baked by a dragon. She smirked against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. His free hand tickled the short hairs at her neck, making her laugh into the kiss. He broke away and rested their heads together.

“I love you,” he spoke gently.

“I love you too,” she replied, without hesitation. “Stay with me tonight?”

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who stuck it out till the end! even though i took absolutely forever to finish this. (sorry)  
> shoutout to Dorian for being my muse throughout this whole thing
> 
> ill be spiraling into a pit of self hatred since i chose to finish this finally instead of working on my speech  
> so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night ʃ(˘▽ƪ)

**Author's Note:**

> I love my quizzie but this idea has been nagging me for ages and I loved it. plus I always liked the idea that Alistair and Cullen knew each other (briefly) from Alistair's short time as a templar. 
> 
> might add more to this, who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
